


Shoulder to Shoulder

by Esli



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aliens, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Angst, Levi / Eren Yeager / Sasha Blouse, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23424982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esli/pseuds/Esli
Summary: Aliens creatures have taken Earth but some humans are strong enough to just survive. In those desperate times, is it better to stay by someone's side ?
Relationships: Levi & Eren Yeager & Hange Zoë, Levi/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, Mina Carolina/Eren Yeager, Sasha Blouse & Jean Kirstein & Connie Springer, Sasha Blouse/Eren Yeager, Sasha Blouse/Jean Kirstein, Sasha Blouse/Levi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StraightForEren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StraightForEren/gifts).



The raven-haired girl got up. It had been too long. She stepped out of her new home and walked down the abandoned street filled with moss and dirt. These old big buildings were now shelters for the best fighters in the country : the Panthers. It has been two months since Mikasa and her girlfriend had joined them. There was a time their relationship would be frowned upon but now it wasn’t the shadow of an issue. People were too busy to survive to discuss about gay rights.  
A dirty newspaper from the year 2030 glued to her shoe and she took it with melancholia. She could read the titles : “THEY KILL ONLY HUMANS” and “ALREADY 300,000 DEATHS”. Reading this she realized what was wrong with her for a while : she was tired of fighting. She just wanted to stay in a safe place with her lover and grow old with her. She was done with those aliens.  
Mikasa resumed walking. She was still worried. Worried something had happened to her girlfriend. So she accelerated the pace.  
Almost there. Just a few more steps and she would be inside the park.  
Stop.  
They were here. How ? She had been told they never came nearby the Panthers’ camp. That was why- An Alien. Right in front of Mikasa’s eyes. Good luck they were blind. Bad luck they had a good sense of smell.  
Her heartbeat went slow as she calmed down. Fear they could smell the most. She had to repress her worry. Everything was going to be fine. Everything would be okay.  
That was what she was telling herself until her eyes met blond bloody hair on the ground. She stared at her without blinking, hoping with all of her heart that she would see those beautiful blue eyes again. But this wasn’t her lover’s body, it was her corpse.  
Mikasa stayed still in shock. She couldn’t believe it. They had sweared they would stay together until the end. She couldn’t had left her alone in this cruel world. She was Mikasa’s will to live.  
She finally ran to her but a long grey arm pushed her far away. She screamed in pain. Her back had hit a big rock. It was broken for sure. But she had to see her.  
She opened her eyes and saw aliens. Too many of them. She couldn’t take them all. But she had to try…  
Mikasa took out her gun from her boot. She aimed it at the monsters and a thought came up.  
Why ? Why did she have to try ? Why did she have to stay alive when her will to live was gone ?  
Revenge. She started to fire. Revenge. She ran to them. Revenge. Fire. Anger. Blood. Keep going.  
“Annie…” she murmured, crawling to her. “Annie I’m sorry.”  
She took her cold hand and closed her eyes for the last time ever.


	2. Shitty squirrel

1 year later...

_"There’s no shame in hiding.”_

_“I’m not at peace.”_

_“You left me.”_

_“Hide !!”_

_“You could pray for me”_

_“WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME ?!”_

Eren woke up with a start, all sweaty. He had known some nightmares but this one had been the worst. As he was getting his breath back, he clenched his fists and tears ran down his cheeks. So weak. He was still affected by those events. He had to move on.

“Another nightmare ?”

He looked up. It was dark but he could easily recognize his comrade’s short silhouette. Comrade ? That was how he should call him ? What was he to him now ? Everything was confused in his head. He had been certain he was straight but apparently not. He had dated some girls when he was in high school. Like Mina… Not a single day without thinking of Mina. She had been his sunshine during from the senior year until the invasion. Until her death.

“Was it Hange ?” Levi asked.

“Yes... and Mina and Armin.”

The short man sighed. He knew all about Eren’s past now and it wasn’t pretty, so they rarely talked about it. But maybe it would do him some good.

“What were they saying ?”

Eren wiped his tears and got up. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. He took his elastic and made his usual hair bun. Talking about the past was useless, it wouldn’t change a thing.

“It doesn’t matter. Go to sleep, I’ll take over.”

They exchanged a long look showing that Levi wasn’t satisfied by the answer.

“Were they saying something about what happened yesterday ?”

“... Nothing happened yesterday.”

“You kissed me Eren.”

“Forget it !”

“Why ?”

“BECAUSE I DON’T WANNA LOSE YOU TOO !”

The echo of the man’s shout filled the room. Then time froze. No one made a move. There’s wasn’t anything left to explain. Eren was scared of his feelings, of getting attached and Levi understood it.

The dark-haired man lied down on the bed and closed his eyes. Eren went to sit by the window and watched out for aliens, people, animals... anything. They were in a cottage in the middle of a small forest. It had been their refuge for the last month, since…

Eren took a deep breath. No more pondering. He had to let those events in the past. Only today was important.

A move caught his eyes high up in the trees. He focused on it but nothing else moved. Had he dreamt it ? Maybe it was just a squirrel. It would make their next meal.

Eren got up and took his knife. The noise alerted Levi who turned to him.

“Just a squirrel.”

“Don’t miss it.”

That had been Eren’s intention but when he came out of the cottage, there were no trace of the animal. It must had been the door’s noise who had scared it and it had fled away. Or maybe it had never been there.

“Shitty stupid squirrel !”

He went back inside rumbling. They still had plenty of canned food but it wasn’t worth fresh meat. He had to find a better weapon than their guns and knives. Guns were great to fight an alien but they didn’t have much ammo. And the knife was difficult to use for hunting. Maybe they should make a bow and arrows. They would be useless against aliens though.

Aliens… Those tall blind grey silhouettes caused plenty of nightmares to the last humans beings. In other words to Levi and him.

“Did you get it ?” asked the raven-haired man.

“No.”

Levi puffed and it irritated him even more.

“I had the sun in my eyes !”

“Yes of course you had.”

Eren sighed. He was doing nonsense these past days : losing the compass, kissing Levi and now missing a squirrel.

“Today…” started Levi. “Today is March 25th, the anniversary of my sister’s death.”

He was staring into space, remembering his last day among the Panthers. How his best friend Hange had announced him Mikasa’s and Annie’s deaths. How the aliens had attacked them. How he had survived and had fled with Hange, not knowing if the others had made it.

“I’m sorry Levi.” Eren said genuinely.

He hadn’t known Mikasa but Levi had talked about her sometimes. He knew about her reckless actions, her beautiful voice, her shy girlfriend. He knew she had wanted a long life and that was hurting Levi the most.

“I have a question.” 

“For fuck’s sake you know I hate it when you say this, just ask me if you have a question !”

Eren swallowed, carefully choosing his words.

“How do you see the future ?”

Levi smirked answering : “I don’t, I’m not a seer.”

“But how do you expect it to be ? Best-case scenario.”

The man took a deep breath and rubbed his dark hair.

“I don’t think you’re ready to hear it.”

“I’ve been through shit, I think I am ready to hear it. I deserve to hear what best could come.”

“You just proved you’re not ready.”

“And who are you to say so ?”

“One of the last humans. Your comrade.”

Eren didn’t reply. They had reached the edge of the conversation. He didn’t want to go beyond. So instead he went back to the window.

“What…”

“What is it ?”

Eren kept his eyes on the dead squirrel on their porch.


	3. Town memories

“Remind me why we left the cottage once again.”

“Because it wouldn’t lead us anywhere to stay there.” said Levi.

Eren frowned. It was the third time he asked and third different answer he received. The first had been ‘Because this house was driving you crazy’ and the second ‘Because we’re out of soap and you stink’.

Last night they had been casually talking about this and that, maybe had gotten a little closer to each other, when suddenly Levi had announced they were going to town at dawn.

“Why do we even need a destination ?” murmured Eren.

His comrade slapped the back of his head and said : “Because we’re one of the last humans here ! We have to do something !”

“There’s nothing we can do to beat those aliens just by the two of us !” the man retorted.

“We haven’t tried everything yet.”

Eren took a deep breath. He tried to calm down his anger as Levi had teached him.

One, two, three, exhale...

One, two three, inhale…

Okay. It was okay now. Maybe they didn’t agree on everything or Eren didn’t understand him but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t a big deal. All he had to do was to live the present moment as the last. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, today.

“If only we had a car…” Levi said softly.

After two hours walking, the two survivors finally arrived in the closest town. It was an average city, nothing special about it. They still could imagine a normal life there. The two of them were barely adults when the aliens had invaded Earth. Now, Levi was 38 and Eren 29 years old. It was some kind of miracle they had held on until this age.

“When I was with Armin, we used to hide in libraries.”

“The fuck why ?”

“Because he kept saying _‘if we might die tomorrow, then I wanna read at peace today.’_ ”

“So you’ve read a lot.”

“Not really, I usually danced while he was reading me philosophy.”

“Well, good to know you can dance.”

Eren blinked. What did he mean ?

“Can you waltz ?” asked Levi.

“No.”

“I’ll teach you.”

Eren’s heart started racing. He would get to dance with Levi ? To waltz with him ? It was so romantic ! He had trouble to repress a smile until he remembered. 

Mina. Armin. Hange….

* * *

The three of them were casually chatting when a big sound broken glass was heard.

“They’ve found us. Go.” they said.

Levi got up and took Hange’s hand.

“Yes, with you” he said before taking them on his back.

He ran with Eren to an exit of the hospital.

“They're too fast Levi ! We gotta hide !” he said, panicked.

“Shit.”

Levi looked around for a good place to stay out of view.

Hange got off his back : “We can't hide.”

“Hange, you-” he started.

“Listen, you two survive. I won't make it anyway. There's no time to lose. Go !”

“I'm not-”

“YOU PROMISED LEVI !!” they screamed.

They both exchanged a long look remembering the last promise Levi ever made. After a few seconds, he took Eren’s arm and ran.

“We're... We're just gonna leave them like that ?!”

“Shut up and run !” he retorted.

* * *

“Hey look at this.”

The dark-haired man was pointing at an instrument shop.

“Nice.” commented Eren. “What about it ?”

“Do you play anything ?”

“I used to play guitar when I was a kid.”

Levi smiled with his eyes like he used to : “Perfect. Go pick one.”

The man frowned and replied he couldn’t play it anymore so his comrade, losing patience, went for him. He came back and gave him a pretty black and dusty guitar.

“Practice. It will be useful.”

“To kill aliens with music ?” joked Eren.

“To kill boredom, stupid.”

And so they resumed their walk in town. Levi insisted on choosing himself their new clothes and Eren had no objection. He didn’t miss to do the Levi’s jeans joke and his comrade smiled.

Eren had never really cared about his look. Except for his hair, he really liked his bun. He kept his elastic as his treasure. And Levi’s new treasure was that red car they found. Of course it didn’t have any gas left but they pushed it to an old gas station which by luck still had some. He started to drive with Eren by his side when they both screamed in surprise and Levi braked.

A girl had gotten in their way.


	4. Meetings

Her huge scar on her face was intimidating. She had reddish hair long to her shoulders, a small nose and beautiful amber eyes. She was wearing dark-greenish jeans and a white but filthy and damaged shirt. She stared at the two men in their car with superiority to hide her fear.

Levi slowly get out of the car, hands up.

“What are you doing ?” whispered Eren.

“Making a new friend.”

He softly went to her and offered his hand.

“Levi. Levi Ackerman.”

Eren couldn’t believe his eyes. He hadn’t received that kind of greeting when he had first met him...

* * *

He entered the abandoned hospital with light steps.

“It’s very silent here-”.

Eren couldn’t finish his sentence as he got caught in a trap and ended upside down, hanging by his left foot. A short man appeared out of nowhere and aimed a gun at him.

“You're not one of them.” he said before lowering his gun.

“Hi, no I'm human. How are you bro ?” Eren said casually.

“I'm not your brother. What are you doing here ?”

“Maybe put me down first ?”

Levi raised his gun again.

“Okay, okay ! I'm human, this is Earth. I'm living here ! I’m just looking for a place to stay.”

Eren could see on the man’s expression that he wasn’t convinced.

“And you ?”

“Not your business.” Levi replied.

“Okay…” he said rubbing his head.

He look around at this upside down area. It looked very clean, which was scarce nowadays.

“How have you survived ?”

“Hiding.” said Eren.

“Mh.”

“There's no shame in hiding.”

Levi was about to retort when somebody opened a door and appeared in the room.

“Levi look at that angel ! Let him down !” they said.

Was it a woman or a man ? Eren couldn’t tell.

“What are you doing here ?! Go back to-”

“Free the cute boy Levi.”

The man in question groaned and finally cut the rope that was holding Eren, who fell miserably on the floor. The mysterious person went to him slowly.

“Hello friend, I'm Hange, what's your name ?”

“.... Eren.”

“You have beautiful green-” they said before coughing.

“Go back to bed.”ordered Levi.

“I'm fine, I'm-” 

They coughed harder.

* * *

“I know your name.” she said while shaking Levi’s hand. “And the other man in the car is your boyfriend : Eren.”

Levi blinked and stepped back.

“Oh no I must be really freaking them out ! Where are your manners stupid girl ?!” she said to herself. “Hi, my name is Sasha Braus. Nice to meet you finally !”

“Finally ?” asked Eren coming out of the car. “What does all of this mean ? Who are you ? Have you been spying on us ?”

“Spying ?! What ?! No ! Not spying !” she panicked. “I’ve just been lonely and I’ve found you two and I’ve decided to observe you to pass time… That sounded pretty creepy huh ?”

“Yes.”

“No.” objected Levi. “Just why haven’t you come talk to us ?”

Suddenly the expression of Sasha turned blank and she was staring at her feet.

“My personal experience stopped me to do so.”

It wasn’t difficult to conclude between that sentence and her big scar that the woman had been through a lot.

“We all have a tough past.” said Levi. “But what do you want to do now Sasha ?”

Eren frowned. What the heck ? He truly hadn’t expected his comrade to react that friendly to a stranger.

“Ca-can I stay with you two for just a while please ?”

“As long as you want. Right Eren ?”

The men exchanged a look. 

“Right.”

“Is- Is that an elastic ?” she asked incredulous.

“Yes why ?”

“Could I have it ?! I’ve been wanting one for months now !”

“No-”

“How about we go back in the mall to find you one Sasha ?” interrupted Levi.

“That sounds great ! I should warn you though I tend to talk to myself out loud. It’s just that I’ve been alone for a while.”

“We understand.”

“Great, great, great…” the woman murmured.

Eren kept looking at Levi who gestured him to behave. He was still off the situation.

“How old are you Sasha ?” Eren asked.

“I’m 27.”

“How did you get that scar ?”

Levi elbowed his chest.

“I cut myself opening a ravioli can” she joked. “Aaaand now I’m hungry ! By the way you two own me a squirrel.”


	5. Sasha's lament

"Why are you showing me a pink one ? Is it because I'm a girl ? That's sexist !"

"That's not sexist at all !"

"Just give me your elastic and take the pink one then !"

"No way !"

"Give me the elastic !"

"Hey stop fighting you two." Levi intervened.

"He/She started it." they said together.

"I don't care who started it, aren't you adults ? I can't believe it." he said before throwing a black elastic to Eren. "You, take this one and give yours to the beautiful lady."

"The beautiful lady ? Where ?"

"Me dumbass !" Sasha barked.

* * *

"How did you call me ?!" Connie said angrily.

"Stu-pid ! You forgot an whole backpack at the lake !" Jean responded.

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT !"

"A STUPID ONE !"

"Guys please don't make too much noise or they'll hear us." Sasha said.

"WELL WE'RE DOOMED ANYWAY BECAUSE CONNIE LOST ALL OUR FOOD !"

"COME ON ! THERE WASN'T ALL OUR FOOD IN THERE !"

"Guys I'm serious they'll-"

An alien pushed her from the back and her quiver fell in front of her. Her head went to hit the arrows and one scratched deeply her face.

She screamed in pain.

"Sasha !" Jean shouted.

The alien went to him and tried to punch him but he dodged. However its kick in Jean’s stomach made his back fall far away on a rock.

Connie was paralyzed by the sight of Sasha's bloody face and Jean's broken corpse. His breathing became faster and harder and he didn't even saw the hook the alien gave him right in the head.

* * *

Levi smacked their heads.

"Keep fighting and you won't get diner tonight."

"What ?!" she panicked. "Eren I'm sorry !"

"No I am, take my elastic I don't actually care anyway."

They left the building in silence, Eren without any elastic, letting his hair down ever since that day. They went back in the car and they got back to the cottage, like Sasha wanted. Barely arrived she jumped off the car and ran to an old tree, she climbed it.

"What the heck Sasha ? Are you Pocahontas ?" Levi said.

But they were speechless when she landed proudly with her bow and full quiver.

“Time to teach you two how to properly hunt.” she announced.

She taught them the basics of archery. Eren was too much focused on his targets and forgot to be discreet and Levi the opposite. It took two hours to make them hit a target correctly enough to satisfy Sasha. After that she stunned them with her demonstration of her abilities : she climbed a tree in a heartbeat, without any noise, and shot an arrow far away. Then she jumped off the tree and silently ran to collect her prize into the woods. When she came back the two men were blinking.

“I didn’t even see there was a rabbit over there. You Hawkeye.” said Levi.

“Hawkeye ?”

“Shorter than Pocahontas.”

Sasha grinned. She had a nickname already. She felt at home.

“No wonder we didn’t spot you spying on us during… for how many days ?” Eren asked.

“Not _spying_ , observing ! And hum… observing for about hum… two weeks.” she murmured.

“TWO WEEKS ?”

“I HAD MY REASONS OKAY ?”

“MAY WE KNOW THEM ?”

“I DIDN’T WANT TO JOIN YOU AND THEN LOSE YOU TOO.”

Eren stopped. He had said the same words to Levi just yesterday. He could understand her.

“I didn’t… I didn’t…” she said, starting to cry. “I didn’t want to lose you the same way I lost my two best friends.”

She clenched her fists and closed her eyes, making her tears fell on the ground.

“I think in my head I’ve replaced you both with Jean and Connie and now that I get to know you I realise you’re not them… Because they’re gone… Forever…”

Sasha fell on her knees.

“I miss them… I miss them so much…”

She curled up and Levi put a hand on her shoulder. Eren, him, hugged her.


	6. Confessions

“They just kill for the sake of killing.” said Levi.

They were talking by a campfire. Sasha had caught a cold and she was slowly falling asleep on Eren’s shoulder.

“While I was in the Panthers, that rebel stupid group, we would charge aliens as blindly as them. But Hange observed. And they told me everytime their conclusions.”

Levi made a pause, staring at the dancing flames. Having a friend was like being close to a fire : it was warming but dangerous. It could bring a lot of pain.

“They told me once that aliens tended to scratch their victims with long nails when they were dead.”

“What do you mean ?” whispered Eren because Sasha was now finally asleep.

Levi looked back at Eren and answered :

“I mean : aliens always make sure the corpses are bleeding.”

“Why ?”

“I don’t know, how about you ask them ?” said Levi with a pinch of irritation in his voice.

Eren didn’t comment. Instead he chose to correct Sasha’s posture. She moaned a bit in her sleep and clued closer to him.

“I think it’s time for me to tell you.”

The dark-haired man’s words were followed by a deep sigh. He didn’t want to do this but he had to. Or maybe he hadn’t ? There always was a choice…

“Do you want kids Eren ?”

The boy blinked. If he wanted kids ? Why was he asking him that ? Because of their relationship ? Besides that kiss last month, nothing had happened.

“No, I’m not very interested about having kids. And mostly I haven’t really thought about it… with everything that’s going on, it’s not quite the moment.”

“It is.”

Levi made a head movement towards Sasha.

“No, no, no, no, no. She’s not-” Eren panicked before calming down and lowering his voice. “She’s not my lover. We’re friends. I’m not in love with her. I love… I love…”

His fists clenched. He could do it, he could confess. It was just three tiny words.

Eren took a deep breath.

“Did I fall asleep ?”

Sasha sat up and stretch until she suddenly coughed. She apologized and said it was time to go to bed.

At first Eren was mad at her. She didn’t even know how bad her timing had been. But then he thought that maybe it was destiny : maybe she had saved him from getting turned down.

* * *

“I’m so sorry but I don’t… see you that way. You’re my friend. My best friend. And… I’m not into boys. I’m truly sorry Armin.”

The blond boy slightly frowned before smiling. He was still proud of having the courage to confess his new feelings. He stared at the strawberry milkshake he was holding. He felt like people around the diner were staring at him.

“It’s okay, I get it.”

Eren bit his lips, was it really okay ? Everything would be different from now on. But what could he do ? What did Armin need ?

“If you want us to take some distance for a while I’ll understand.” he attempted.

“No, no it’s fine !” his friend said agitating his hand.

“For real ?”

Armin looked away and then grinned with closed eyes. How could he smile ? Eren had no idea, but one thing was sure.

“For real.”

That was a lie.


	7. By the fire

Eren walked slowly between the white trees, alone. Winter had came quickly this year, dropping snow everywhere. Hawkeye would have been thrilled to hunt in this environment. But now Eren had to find food by his own. He wasn't bad at it now, with all the advices she had given him. But the student was far from surpassing the master.

For now, he just had to pick up some wood for the fireplace. He needed to get the cottage as warm as possible. He remembered the night he accompanied Levi on the guitar by the fire. Sasha was smiling. He had a beautiful voice.

Already thirty-one days had passed since their fight, since his friend disappearing, but the words were still echoing in his mind.

_“That was your idea Levi !”_

_“She is sick. This was not the time.”_

_“You said Sasha and I had to do it as soon as we could !"_

_“Yes but you should have told me before.”_

_“Why ?!”_

_“Because I love her !” Levi had confessed. “... Nevermind. It doesn’t matter anyway.”_

It did matter. Now Eren knew why Levi had always had that sadness in his eyes whenever they had to talk about the baby project. But if he loved her, why hadn’t he done it himself ?

Eren picked up a branch and removed the snow out of it still thinking about Levi. He was a man of honor. He would had had to confess his feelings, to be honest with Sasha before asking her permission to touch her.

Eren took a deep breath. She would have said yes. Because he could understand by all the tears she had made those last weeks that she cared a lot about Levi. She cared about him the way Eren did. With her deepest heart. And now he was gone. Because of them.

A sob disrupted the silence of the forest. Water fell on the snow.

It was all Eren’s fault. He should have known, he should have noticed that the men he loved was in love with someone else. How had Levi felt when thinking Eren had touched her ? Angry ? Disgusted ? Hateful ? Eren would never know. Unless Levi would come back.

It wasn’t like him to disappear like this. He usually faced the problems. But maybe he had gotten sick of Eren and Sasha. Of all this useless drama. They were survivors, there wasn’t time for those stupidities. 

Eren walked home staring at his own feet, with red eyes.

It wasn’t stupidities. He truly loved Levi. And he missed him so much. They both missed him so much. Was Levi missing them too ? Was he missing Eren ? Was there somewhere in his romantic heart, a place for him ?

The door of the cottage opened.

“You should stay in bed Sasha.”

Eren went quickly by her side in case she would fall.

“I’m not that sick” she said. “It’s just a little flu.”

“A flu that lasts for months now.”

They both went inside silently. Eren added the wood at the fireplace and get the fire going again.

“You took your time, I was scared you wouldn’t come back.”

He turned to her. She was lying all curled up on the sofa. Her cheeks and the tip of the nose a little pink. Eren put a red blanket on her and kneeled.

“Don’t worry.” he said with a smile. “I won’t leave you.”

Sasha took his hand. She had lost Jean and then Levi, the two men she loved. She needed Eren. She couldn’t live by her own after having being Hawkeye.

“You promise ?” she asked with a hoarse voice.

“Yes.” he said staring into her golden eyes.

They both felt that attraction again. The one coming from loneliness and sorrow. But it was more than that, a bound. They were trying to make a baby despite Sasha’s health condition. Was it senseless ? Probably. But they felt like running out of time and they needed a will to live. And a little baby would be perfect for that. Maybe their parents weren’t the common couple, but in those times, nothing was normal.

“Thank you Eren. Love you.”

No, they didn’t love each other like most couple, but they still loved each other.

Sasha smiled and he dropped a kiss on her cheek.

“Wouldn’t you prefer to sleep on the bed ?”

“No, stay here with me.”

She brought his hand to her neck and closed her eyes. Contrary to Levi’s presence in which she felt nervous, in Eren’s she was relaxed. She fell quickly asleep next to him.

“I’m coming.” she murmured.

He looked at her blinking. It was the first time she was talking in her sleep.

“I know where you are and I’m coming to get you.”

A movement caught Eren’s eye by the window. He perceived an alien in the distance.


	8. Snow stained in red

A tall grey silhouette was facing him between the white trees. All the birds had left. Even though aliens were only killing humans, the animals of the forest had escaped. Eren’s heartbeat got faster and faster. After all these years, those creatures just resurfaced horrible memories. He closed his eyes and pictured Sasha making a big thumb up. He could do this, he just had to stay calm. The alien could sense his fear so he relaxed.

Eren silently bypassed it to reach a tree behind it. His body moved automatically to climb the way Hawkeye had taught him to : without any noise. High up in the tree, he brandished his bow and took his time to aim. He took a deep breath and finally shot an arrow right in the alien’s nape. That provoked its piercing scream and its loss of balance. It fell on its knees, trying to pull away the weapon stuck in its neck. This was the moment. Eren quickly got down of his tree to run right in front of the alien. He took out his gun and placed it on its heart.

One look at its blind eyes made him hesitate. He knew those eyes. They were… Eren took fright and shot.

Time was left dangling until suddenly there was white smoke everywhere. Eren couldn’t see a thing and he stepped back many times. What was happening ? An alien wasn’t supposed to do that ! He waited for the view to become clear, staying on his guard. Seconds passed slowly. Eren could only hear hiw own heartbeat. 

A gust of wind made snow falling from the branches and the smoke fly away.

Levi.

He was right in front of him. Lied down on the white ground.

“What…”

Eren slowly walked to him. He couldn’t believe his eyes. It was truly him. It was...

“Levi ?”

He kneeled next to him, noticing the big red stain on his grey shirt.

“Levi ?! What happened ?!”

When he finally made the link between the alien’s death and Levi’s, he had a panic attack.

“No, no, no, no ! This is not possible !”

He took his lost lover in his arms and shook him.

“Levi ! Wake up ! Please wake up ! I didn’t know ! I DIDN’T KNOW !”

But the man kept his eyes closed. He had perished the moment Eren had shot the bullet.

“I didn’t… What did I do ?” he mumbled before bursting into tears.

If only Eren had known, if only he hadn’t shot. He had hesitated when he had seen those familiar grey eyes… 

“Please Levi.” he said in vain.

With another brother dead in his arms, Eren couldn’t help but remembering their last words. There was no way Levi’s “I’m gonna be a burden in you family story anyway. I’m going.” could be compared to Armin’s “There’s no shame in hiding Eren. Hide and stay alive.”. Which one was worse ? How could he know ? Why did it matter anyway ? Eren wondered while taking the corpse to the cottage. What now ? What could he do ?

He heard a high scream and then someone crying with their whole body. But Eren wasn’t here anymore. The man he loved was dead. Nothing mattered. He just didn’t have any will to live… Will to live… Baby… Sasha !

He suddenly looked up and saw her on her knees at the doorstep. Her eyes were staring into space, but still making big tears running down her pale cheeks.

Eren had to take care of her. She was all he had now.


	9. Forever

Levi would have liked this atmosphere. Rain pouring at the window, fireplace warming up the room and Eren playing slowly the guitar. Levi would have love it all except Sasha’s silent tears. Because she knew he would have loved it all.

She kept staring at the fire, sometimes blurry, not saying a word. But her mind was agitated. Why had he had to die ? Since when had he even been an alien ? How could it even be that he had been one ? Maybe he had transformed the very day he had left ? Was there a way to turn him back without killing him ? How come none alien had ever transformed to a human right in front of them ? Was every alien a human ?

So many questions, no one having the answers.

Sasha closed her eyes, listening to Eren’s music. It was at first hearing peaceful, but she could perceive the sadness between the notes. He was trying to comfort her when he was still grieving too. She tried to go back into better days…

* * *

“Do you think the smoke will alert them ?” Connie worried.

“I don’t care a damn ! Meat is above everything !” Sasha said.

Jean scoffed and replied :

“I guess we’ll see. We’ll kick all of those aliens’ asses if they come.”

Sasha nodded, the meat already in her mouth.

“Is it even cooked ?” asked Connie in disgust.

She shrugged and he shook his head in disbelief. He got up and left the campfire.

“Well, I’m going to bed, have fun lovebirds !”

Jean became all red by his words and fought to not choke. When Sasha and him finished to eat, she suddenly made a sad expression.

“What’s wrong ?”

“This will never end. It's a cycle of fighting, running away and hunting.” she murmured.

“It's a new way of living.” Jean said.

“Of surviving.” she corrected.

“You make me live. Without you I'd be just a pathetic survivor without purpose. But I have one : staying by your side.”

He took her hand and got closer. They rest their forehead together like they used to and smiled.

“I love you Jean.”

“I love you too.”

“You’ll stay with me forever right ?”

“Forever.” he promised before sealing their lips together.

* * *

“I’m sorry.” she said.

Eren stopped playing, Sasha hadn’t said a word for the entire day.

“I have to confess something.” she continued with a trembling voice.

He blinked and put down the guitar. He couldn’t guess what she had in mind but she was crying again. He came to her side of the couch to take her hand.

“The night you were… about to confess to Levi I… interrupted you.” Sasha said between sobs. “I loved him so I panicked and…”

Eren got away from her and she sat up. 

“I’m so sorry, I just loved him so much I knew that if you confessed he would have said y-”

“No. He would have turned me down.” he said.

Sasha froze. She didn’t know what to say, how to tell him otherwise. Her heart nor her head couldn’t find the words. So she was gapping a little, waiting for something to come up in her mind, when Eren continued.

“Levi was in love with you.”

The girl’s head went empty. Her heart accelerated. He loved her ? For real ? 

“How…” she mumbled.

“How can I tell ? Well I could say by the way he looked at you, by the way he spoiled you and all but I haven’t noticed any of that to be honest, because I’m an idiot. Or he just hid it too well.”

“Then how ?”

“He told me. The day he left.”

Sasha frowned. Levi had left because of the baby project… So he cared that much about her. She couldn’t help but smile until remembering they would have no future. That he would have no future.

Eren hugged her as she started to cry.

“Why haven’t-”

Eren and Sasha heard a knock. They both stared at the door. No other sound came, it must have been a thunder. Sasha went back to her question :

“Why haven’t you told me sooner ?”

“Because it wasn’t any of my business.”

Another knock. Eren blinked.

“I’m sorry, are we expecting anyone for dinner tonight darling ?”

“I don’t think so. Unless aliens knock now.” she joked wiping her tears away.

She got up and walked through the living room, but Eren quickly caught her up and carefully opened the door. Two men were standing on the porch and he protectively stood in the way of Sasha who put her arms on her stomach by mother instinct.

“Hi there.” said the blond one. “We didn’t mean to scare you. We were just looking for a shelter from the rain and we saw light in your cottage.”

“And you are ?” asked Eren.

“I’m Reiner, and this is my boyfriend Bertholdt.”

The tall dark-haired man in question shyly raised a hand to greet them. He frowned seeing Sasha’s scar. She and Eren exchanged a look. What should they do ? Was it safe to let them in ? Those two mean obviously had survived countless of aliens, they could be merciless people. But they were still people. And it was precious to Eren.

“How can we trust you ?” he said.

“You can’t but we have rum.” Reiner said.

“Come in.”


	10. New people

The couple entered the cottage and looked around. Reiner stopped his eyes on Sasha's face and then her stomach.

"Yes I'm pregnant." she said happilly.

The blond boy looked at Eren who spoke too, on the defensive :

"Yes I'm the father."

“Congrats.” Reiner said with a smile. “It’s nice meeting three new people.”

Sasha grinned and stroke slowly her belly. It wasn’t big yet but it was very perceivable she was expecting. Since she had found out her pregnancy last month her mental health had been better and better. Her unborn child had brought back her laugh previously taken away by Levi’s death.

Sasha went to the window and his lover understood.

“You’ve brought some friends.” he said.

“Only one.” she corrected.

“What do you mean ?” started Bertholdt.

“Sasha can sense aliens coming.” Eren explained.

The two strangers looked at the girl in confusion.

“Since you have that scar.” Reiner murmured.

Her eyes widening showed that he had hit the nail on the head.

“We’re almost out of ammo.” he changed the subject.

“Reiner, no.” Bertholdt whispered. “We have to go, they have a baby.”

“They don’t.”

“They will.”

They stared into each other eyes, silently arguing.

“I’m sorry what’s going on here ?” Eren intervened.

“... We’re gonna fight the alien.” said Reiner. “Berthy and I. You two stay here.”

With those words, he left the cottage with his partner.

Sasha went to take Eren’s hand to calm him down. He hated whispers and secrets.

“I’m joining them.” he said pulling his hand out.

“No !”

“I’m going ! We can’t trust them !”

“That’s precisely why you must stay here.”

Eren didn’t reply and left Sasha by her own. He went under the rain and saw Reiner and Bertholdt shooting on the alien with a smile on their face. 

“Why are you smiling ?” asked Eren joining Reiner and Bertholdt on the battlefield.

“Why are you here ?!” the blond man shouted. “Go back inside !”

“No ! I’m gonna fight this alien with you.”

“Don’t look at it !” Bertholdt let slip.

Obviously, those words only made Eren do the forbidden. The alien was as tall as the others, the skin grey and creased, and despite a few scars on the back nothing seemed odd.

“Turn around you bastard !” Eren shouted to it. “I’m gonna shoot in your stupid brain !”

But the alien didn’t turn. It was focused on the two other men.

“Run away Eren ! Trust us !” Reiner said.

Eren watched them firing the alien poorly. He groaned. He could end this quickly. It looked like Reiner and Bertholdt weren’t even willing to kill it. Even though, there was something in their expressions… They seemed sort of happy and sad, confident and ashamed. They definitely knew more about what was going on than Eren and Sasha.

He went back inside. Sasha was at the window.

“What’s going on ?” she asked, frowning.

“I don’t know.” he said.

He joined her by the window and she took his hand.

“I’m glad you came back.” she whispered.

Eren didn’t comment. Sasha was the sweetest girl he had ever met. Always complimenting him, saying she loved him, that he counted. By her side, he could feel he mattered. And she mattered too, but he struggled to express it.

“Those guys are weird. They’re not  _ killing _ it.”

Following Eren’s words, the alien fell on its back, injured. It screamed and its face turned to the cottage. The alien had beautiful brown eyes. 

Suddenly white smoke spread all around the cottage.

Eren ran to get to the door and Sasha followed him.

“Hange ! Hange !” he screamed, making his way through the thick smoke.

They were here. Lying on the grass, shaking with the pain, covered in blood.

“Oh my god…” murmured Sasha.

“Hange…”

Eren took them in his arms.

“Nice seeing you again, cute boy.”


	11. Recovery

Hange was lying on the bed, their wounds having been taken care of. All they needed was rest for now, Sasha had said. And so they rested, with the couple by their side.

“Sasha ?” Eren said.

She had got up from her chair.

“I’m gonna rest on the couch in the living room.”

She left Hange and him alone in the bedroom, for them to catch up. But Eren was ready to follow her, he had to protect her. He couldn’t let her alone with those strangers.

“She seems to be a big girl you know.”

Eren turned to Hange who smiled.

"She'll be fine."

He slightly frowned unconvinced.

“I forgot to say congrats by the way. When is the due date ?” asked Hange.

He hesitated before going back to sit on a chair next to them.

“September.”

“Great…” they said with a big grin on their face.

Eren nervously looked at the door. He wasn’t comfortable leaving Sasha with two outsiders. Maybe he was a possessive guy after all…

"How come you avoid looking at me Eren ?"

He clenched his fists.

"I don't know how to apologize and make it up for what I did."

"And what did you do ?"

"Many things" he answered.

Hange made a sound of meditation before staring at the ceiling.

"How long has it been since the last time we saw each other ?" they wondered.

"About… five years I think." Eren said.

There was a long moment of silence. Hange trying to digest everything. Five years was a long time, a lot of events could have happened. First, Eren had met this pretty girl named Sasha and had fell for her, even had started a family. And then there was those two men. Sasha had said they had just met them.

“I know Reiner and Bertholdt.” Hange declared.

“How ? Are they trustworthy ?”

Hange took a deep breath and slowly sat up. Eren put an extra pillow between them and the bed base. He noticed all the bandages on their body.

“They were part of the Panthers.” they said. “I don’t know if they are trustworthy though, I’ve never talked to them. All I know is that they are good fighters.”

“They were in the Panthers ? That elite group of rebel survivors ?”

“Yes, among Levi and I.”

Eren stared at his hands. Guilt starting to fill his being.

“By the way, about Levi…” murmured Hange.

He clenched his fists and frowned. No tears, he had to stay strong.

Eren took all of his bravery to look into Hange’s eyes and to say the painful truth.

“He died.”

_ I killed him. _

“... I see.” they said.

“I’m so sorry Hange.”

_ It’s all my fault. _

“Don’t be, cute boy.”

Eren swallowed and closed his eyes. He could still remember Levi’s corpse in every detail. It felt awful.

"I'm sorry for Levi... and for leaving you behind. I'm so sorry Hange."

“I can see you’ve forgotten my advice Eren : leave the past behind...”

“-and live the present today.” he completed. "But-"

"No  _ but _ ." they interrupted. "I'm glad you survived Eren. Becoming one of those things was scary, it was like a living nightmare. So I'm happy you didn't experience it."

Hange smiled and sighed. Eren said painfully :

"I didn't but Levi…"

He didn't need to end his sentence. Hange had got it. They put their hand on his shoulder. Eren looked at them with teary eyes.

"I killed him, Hange. I killed Levi."

"You didn't know."

"I should have."

"You couldn't know."

Eren made a nervous laugh.

"You sound like Sasha."

"Then this sweet Sasha must be smart." they replied with a smile.

Eren slowly nodded. She was.

“Levi…” Hange murmured looking at the window. “I thought you and him…”

They didn’t finish their sentence.

Sasha was heard laughing from the other room. Eren immediately stood up and Hange smiled.

“You really love her.” they said.

“I… I do.”

“It wasn’t a question haha ! Go ahead, check on her, I’m fine, I’m gonna get some sleep, I’m exhausted.”

Eren nodded and quickly went to the living room. Hange sighed. They were genuinely happy he had found someone.

"Wait Eren, one more thing !"

He stopped and turned to them, his hand on the doorknob. 

"Thank you for recognizing me."

Eren smiled.


	12. Mothers

When Eren entered the living room Reiner was leaning against a wall and Bertholdt was sitting on the couch, staring at the fireplace. Both looked concerned.

“Where’s Sasha ?”

They almost jumped at his words. Eren went in front of the fire, facing them.

“She went outside” finally answered Reiner before looking away.

Eren glanced at the window and saw his lover admiring the sky, sitting against the tall tree.

“What’s going on with you ?”

“We’re just… concerned about Hange.” Bertholdt said.

“I’ve heard you know them.”

“Just a bit.” Reiner said. “They were in the Panthers with us. But we didn’t know them personally, we’ve just seen them in the distance.”

Eren crossed his arms on his chest and stated :

“They will be fine.”

Bertholdt winced and Reiner looked away again.

“What are you hiding from me ?”

Sasha took a deep breath of the forest air. It felt nice. She felt nice. Everything would be okay. They were numerous now. Reiner, Bertholdt. Hange, Eren. All of them would help her to protect her baby. It was all that mattered to Sasha now : her precious unborn child. She would do anything to keep them safe and sound.

But there was one thing she couldn’t sacrifice : Eren. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of him. He seemed arrogant and serious at first but he actually was very concerned and fun. She missed Levi so much but by Eren’s side, the pain was bearable.

Sasha carefully got up. She looked at the twilight sky and hummed a melody from her childhood. Her father used to sing her this song. He sadly died at the beginning of this apocalypse. And Sasha had never met her mother. She only realized at that moment she was an orphan now. Her first reaction was to change her resolutions : the baby, Eren and herself would be safe and sound. For their child.

With this in mind, she entered the bedroom by the back door. She could hear the men speaking in the living room but couldn’t get what they were saying. She watched Hange sleeping on the bed. Slightly wincing from time to time. They still seemed in pain. Had Sasha really done a great job with those bandages ? What if she had done it wrongly and they were dying ?

Concerned, she went to sit next to them.

Hange woke up and blinked at Sasha staring at them. She took their hand and put it on her round belly. Hange’s eyes went round when she felt a little kick. They chuckled and Sasha smiled. They looked at her and put their hands on her shoulders. Hange slowly guided her to lay down on the bed by their side while keeping their eyes locked in each other’s.

There was something very peaceful in Hange and Sasha’s silent exchange. Sasha had never met her mother but she bet it felt like this to have one. She felt the necessity to protect her too. Her baby needed a grandma.

Eren, still shaken by the revelation, slowly opened the door and saw his lover sleeping hand in hand with his friend. He smiled. He knew those two would get along. But tears ran down his cheeks at the thought of the terrible truth he had just learned by the two men.

He stared at the sleeping beauties on the bed.

Nothing would be the same from now on.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've wrapped this up quickly, sorry

_ 8 years later _

“Sasha ! Come back here !”

The green-eyed kid turned to Hange and stuck his tongue out. Not just her name, he also had got his mother’s bad sense of humor.

Hange sighed. They were all wet with the salty water he had just launched on them with his little bucket. And now the kid had fled back into the sea.

“Hahaha !”

“Shut up Jean !”

His laugh just made them irritated and they grabbed the poor man’s hair in revenge.

“Ouch ! Why ?! I didn’t do anything !”

“YOU LAUGHED !”

Were Hange and Jean getting along ? Yes, but it never seemed like it. They were always fighting but it was friendly fighting. So friends could be a nice term to describe their relationship. It was always shorter than “we both had a friend who shortened their lives to resuscitate us and so we’re both taking care of their child to repay our debt”.

“Look Uncle Jean !”

Sasha dove into the water and moved their feet freely in the air. Jean smiled. He could see the Pocahontas spirit in him.


End file.
